Online is Eternal

There has been quite a bit of controversy lately about what to do with online profiles like Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social media and online accounts, whose account holders have passed away. It is a delicate subject, but it is a very real concern for friends and families who are reminded of their deceased loved ones every time they log-in to their own accounts. It is a curious thing. I have very good friend who passed away a year ago, and I was so deep in grief, it wouldn't have occurred to me to take her off of my friends list, I just assumed that her profile would've been deleted by Facebook eventually. A few weeks ago, it was her birthday. I saw the birthday reminder when I logged into my Facebook account, and memories of her beautiful face, her laugh and her kind voice came rushing back. I wasn't prepared for that. I clicked to her Facebook page, and discovered that there were still people who didn't know she had passed, and were conversing with each other on her wall, wishing her happy birthday, asking if they could give her a call when they were in town. 

The question is, what should happen to those profiles when the account holders have passed away? In the United States, several states are attempting to pass legislation that would provide loved ones with legal possession of social media profiles and online accounts of the deceased, giving them the ability to delete the accounts and memorialize them in their own way. There is definitely some concern, however, that there might be confidential information within such accounts, and there is the concern of the ensuring that the individuals past remains private, even after death. This is definitely a worthwhile piece of legislation, when it does pass, should serve as a reminder to all of us, to be conscious about how much of your life you share with the online community. This is also something to consider when you consult with a paralegal to draw up your will and testament. 

Teen Plastic - The Adolescent Obsession with Plastic Surgery

Britain's self-proclaimed "human barbie", Sarah Burge gifted her 7 year old daughter a voucher for $11,000 worth of liposuction. This isn't the first time the buxom blonde shocked the world, she's also gifted the little tyke a voucher for a $6000 breast augmentation when she comes of age. Naturally, this started a firestorm of controversy not only in the UK, but around the world. What business does a mother have inferring to her young daughter that plastic surgery is a necessary part of of being a woman?

In the United States alone, plastic surgeries among teenage girls has increased over 550% between the years of 1990 and 2010. Teens all over America are hitting up mom and dad for everything from chemical peels, breast augmentations, nose jobs, and ear surgeries.

Teenage girls are more conscious then ever of how they are perceived in eyes of their peers. Even with an increase of public awareness and several healthy body image campaigns, girls of primary school age are idolizing women with voluptuous fake breasts and overly sculpted bodies, believing that this is indeed a way a woman's body should look.

By the time young girls hit puberty, they've already spent countless hours coveting features they may not have, scrutinizing ever bump, every freckle, every flaw. And with the exception of a few sensible voices emphasizing more important advice like how to attain scholarships for women rather than how to apply long lash mascara and how not to look your age, it seems that everything in print and on tv is out to make your teen feel bad about being in her own skin!

But before we dismiss this alarming trend as a passing fad, we have to examine the reasons why young girls are going under the knife. Teenage girls are looking for an instant fix, they want to correct a physical feature that they deem unattractive, or a feature that their peers have commented on. They think that if they fix the flaw they see in the mirror, when they wake up from surgery, they'll feel better about themselves. It doesn't work that way and most teens lack this understanding. Grown women who go under the knife, while they might suffer from the same insecurity about one particular feature, they might have another agenda, like hiding a scar from domestic abuse, or rebuilding a body broken after being ravaged by breast cancer. They generally don't lack the maturity or cognitive abilities to make sound decisions about altering their bodies in drastic ways.

So is it ever okay to let a teen get plastic surgery? Well, it depends on the type of surgery they have their eye on. Breast augmentation is only appropriate for girls 18 years or older. If you're a teen with a small chest, you're just going to have to deal with it until you're of age. It doesn't matter what size you are, small is just as beautiful as full and voluptuous. Nose jobs, breast reductions and ear surgeries are all common cosmetic procedures, and every situation must be approached with caution. Teenagers should be interviewed, and accessed for their state of mind before they make the decision to cut into their skin. As parents, friends and loved ones, it is our responsibility to ensure they know how beautiful we think they are, flaws and all.  

Where is the Honour in 'Honour Killings'?

Burn Victim of Domestic Violence, Afghanistan

The image above may disturb you. Good. I hope it not only disturbs you, I hope it rattles you to the very core. The women depicted here refused a marriage proposal from a perspective fiance. He set the eighteen year old girl ablaze, claiming she had dishonoured him. And now, she will writhe in pain for the rest of her life as she is reminded how little she is worth in the eyes of certain men in her culture.

Jassi Sidhu - Murdered while visiting in Punjab in 2000 by her Mother
because she secretly married a man from a poor family.

An honour killing is any act committed by a family member, male or female that can be thought of as bringing dishonour upon the family. Though the media often reports honour killings as acts committed by members of the Muslim or Middle Eastern community, several cultures have participated in honour killings. Various South East Asian communities have also taken to murdering family members in an effort to restore honour to the family name. Young girls flirting with boys, wives accused of adultery after being raped by a neighbour, or sons marrying a woman in secret because her family bloodline is considered a lesser class are all justifications, in some fundamentalist cultures, for murdering the offending family member. Entire villages have been reported to arm themselves with stones only to carry out justice against a wrongly accused individual in a most egregious manor as depicted in the disturbing 2008 film, the Stoning of Soraya M.

Anthropologists, theologians, sociologists and psychologists have been closely studying the complex web of circumstances that surround such acts, and all struggle to gain a deeper understanding of such monstrous justifications.

Mohammad Shafia, Montreal 2011

Honour Killings have certainly not been a prominent part of the North American social conscious until now. With survivors of vicious attacks actively, though discreetly, seeking out venues to share their stories, their voices are often drowned about by reports on the failing economy, a new healthcare bill or foreign policy debate. Several recent cases have appeared in Canada, with as many as 13 cases since 2002. In a most recent case, Mohammad Shafia, was accused of murdering his three teenage daughters, spewing that his 13, 17 and 19 year old daughters were whores because they "consorted with boys and wore make-up". Police officers involved in the case have been grappling with details of the monstrous case. Callous statements made by the accused, his wife and son, have shaken all those watching breathlessly, waiting for the outcome. 

It's near impossible for the Western world to imagine committing such a crime against our children. Murdering your thirteen year old daughter because she was flirting with boys (or girls) and wore make-up to school. It's one of the most poignant stages of adolescence. To be robbed of something so natural, and then to pay with your life. Canada's sensitivity to cultural diversity and differences has the Canadian justice system reeling. Is this a cultural social norm? Absolutely not. This is a fairly new social phenomena in the North American social fabric and there are few experts in the field. However, countries like Canada and the United States are not only condemning all honour killing acts, but are vehemently campaigning against all acts of domestic violence in the name of restoring family honour. There is no place for such acts of violent intolerance and hatred, and there is no scrap of honour in honour killings.